Why do men struggle to approach women?

The struggle men have in initiating conversation with women

A lot of women put in the effort of dressing up and going to a number of single events every month, yet they not a lot of men approach them. This is understandably frustrating from a female perspective as women seemingly did “their part” by showing up at an event. However, there are two sides to every coin and the fact is that men are passive in a sense where they do not rush to approach a lot of women. How can this reality be explained?

Men are afraid.

Although this statement may sound bizarre, simplistic, and unjustifiable – it is the reality. You may feel that men should have an innate sense of confidence within themselves that allows them to easily start a conversation. You may feel that the phenomenon of men not approaching women has a much more sophisticated explanation. You may feel that men should realize it is their “job” to make the first step and thus overcome any difficulty.

Let’s examine all the above ideas. Do all men have an innate sense of confidence in them? Definitely not. Do some have such a sense? Of course. Is it up to you to develop this sense in men before you’ve gotten to know them? No.

Do you think there could be a more complex explanation as to why men hold back? In fact there are some such as: They may have been rejected recently by several women and are feeling insecure, they may simply be looking to have a relaxing night with their friends, they may be going through a breakup, they may be looking for a cue that it’s ok to approach you, and guess what else? They may not even be single!

Do you hold the belief that men should know it’s their “job” to approach you? Well, some men naturally do know they are expected to make the first contact while others know it and do not approach women for various reasons. On the flip side, some men do not know women expect them to make that initial step. Do you think that you have much influence over how any of those male groups act? It’s rather safe to say that you do not.

And so you ask, what are men afraid of? After all, not only should they not be afraid of you, but they should be prone to approach you! The answer is that they’re afraid of the impact an unsuccessful conversation can have on their self-esteem. If their self-esteem gets hurt, it will become even more difficult for them to approach the next girl they fancy.

In order to make the “task” of starting a conversation easier on men, you should send them positive and clear cues such as repeated smiles (aimed specifically at a certain gentleman), set aside your orthodoxies and be the one to approach them (preferably with a silly line followed by your name), and even have a small note you wrote (inviting them to approach you) brought to them by one of your friends! Such steps are quite bald but rest assure that they will undoubtedly distinguish you from other women whom are just as interested in a conversation with the very same men you encounter at social events.