The Secrets to a successful relationship

Central Quest Elite Matchmaking & Introduction Agency interviewed a 23-year happily married couple in trying to unveil the secrets to their successful marriage. For privacy reasons their names are omitted. Although the interview answers are written in third person they are the actual words used by the couple.

1) Where did you guys meet and how did it happen?

She was teaching aerobics and he came to a class to get fit for rugby.

2) Did one of you or both of you have any hesitations about pursuing a relationship at any point? Why?

She had no intentions of pursuing a relationship as she was going through a divorce. She only had friendship in mind. He on the other hand wanted to go for it!

3) What drew you to each other initially?

She thought he was a very nice guy with a lovely manner. He was attracted to her amazing personality, sense of humour and her striking looks.

4) How long have you been married?

Married for 23 years and have known each other for 30 years.

5) What are some of the sacrifices you made for one another?

He sacrificed some of his sanity as he took on the responsibility of her 2 children at a very young age! But realistically, they didn’t sacrifice anything in our relationship. They both maintained their own careers and their own individual hobbies.

6) Was there a moment in your relationship one of you had thought to end the relationship? Why and how did you overcome it?

She tried to end the relationship after a few years and before marriage as she is 12 years older than him and didn’t want any more children and thought it only fair that she gave him the opportunity to perhaps find someone more suitable. They parted for 2 weeks which was awful for both of them and they realised that their friendship and love that they felt for each other was too great to throw away!

In an extraordinary romantic gesture he made it quite clear that he never wanted to be parted from her!

7) What do you admire about each other?

She admires his principles, morals, honesty, gentleness, humour, consideration, loyalty and thoughtfulness….plus plus plus….He says ditto…

8) When one of you is upset, how does the other handle it and what does he do to bring up the moral?

Communication and humour and a shoulder to cry on with lots of cuddles! She really admires the fact that when she is in a bad mood with him he turns into her best friend and says things like “come on let’s sit down and talk about him…What a monster!!” Who can help but laugh at that? She just can’t stay angry for long.

9) What hard decision/s were you faced with as a couple?

They never really had any hard decisions to make as anything that came up was always discussed and somehow resolved.

10) What do you struggle with the most in your relationship?

She is untidy he is not!! Need we say more!! It’s not really a big deal though as it’s something so unimportant!

11) What quality does each of you think the other one has that is rare to find in a partner and how does it manifest itself?

For her their relationship was based on friendship nothing more.. For two years they were the best of friends as she was going through a divorce. She told him things that you would never tell a prospective lover. One day after her divorce was finalised and she had moved into her new home with her children he rang her asking her to join him for dinner and a chat. She went and they had the usual banter and laughter until he said that he had a confession to make. He told her that for two years he had harboured a secret passion for her and that he was madly in love with her! She was absolutely furious and told him he had crossed the line and had now destroyed their friendship which had been so important to her and she had never looked at him in a romantic light. She demanded to be taken home. Outside the house she said that she never wanted to see or hear from him again. He was devastated and leant over to kiss her on the cheek goodbye. She was so angry that she turned her head to avoid his kiss and their lips met. It was like an electric shock. As she didn’t move he grew bolder and went in for the kill. The kiss lasted 20-30 seconds and in that time she thought WOW you need this … It’s good for your ego… You’ve just come out of an awful divorce.. If it lasts only a few weeks so what? Go for it!

And the rest is history!

12) What are some of the mistakes you witnessed first-hand that couples do?

There are many different forms of infidelity and we have witnessed couples talking disrespectfully about their partner in front of them! We think this is a formula for disaster… It starts with a “my partner does this” and it escalates from there… perhaps making fun of them and laughing. Not acceptable!

13) What do you think are some of the most important things that couples ought to do in order to keep the flame going in their relationship/marriage?

Make time for each other, do little things that mean a lot like making a cup of tea for your partner without being asked, go away for a weekend for no reason except for the sheer fun of it…. And most of all chat to each other and maintain the friendship which is the basis of any good relationship… Laugh together and have fun.. Remember the heart has no wrinkles and just because you may be getting older it doesn’t mean that you can’t still be as carefree and as full of joy as you were when you first got together. Respect each other in every way and NEVER try to change each other…remember why you fell in love in the first place that person is still there! There will be arguments after all we are only human but try and nip it in the bud and not let it fester and if you are able to discuss the things that hurt you and keep all channels of communication open then you will be blessed with a long and happy marriage!

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