How to act when a perfect relationship evolves into one with endless arguments?

What should we do when every conversation we have with our beloved partner results in a fight?

A photo of a couple arguing
A lot of couples start off their relationship with passion, giggles and endless fun but after a few months they reach a point where every second sentence they say to one another leads to an argument! This is often the result of poor communication where both partners word their responses in an disrespectful manner, use the wrong tone of voice, and even cut each other off in the middle of the sentence!

How can we then avoid this scenario and have a calm discussion with our loving partner instead of leading a battle?

  • Don’t make accusations, but rather observations – No one likes to be accused of anything, even if they are at fault. You should start off by pointing out a positive thing your partner said/did and then gently observe what was less appealing to you in what they said or the way they behaved.
  • Choose your battles wisely – You are very likely to find that there are a number of things that did not sit well with you in regards to your partner’s overall behaviour. In such case choose the ones are of large importance to you rather than of minor importance and disregard the latter. By choosing to focus on aspects of large importance you avoid having your partner’s attention drawn to issues of low significance in the greater scheme of things.
  • Be the first to assume responsibility – Most of us share a common trait where we look to others to make the first “move”, after which we choose whether or not to follow. If you want to impress your spouse, or more importantly to make matters easier on them, then be the first to say “I’m sorry for saying…” or “I’m sorry for behaving….” This will create space for them to be much less defensive, think highly of you, and potentially even apologise for their wrongdoings as well!

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