Interview with Dating Coach Madeleine Mason
Central Quest interviewed Dating Coach Madeleine Mason to learn about her about her background as a psychologist and gain insight about her current work as a dating coach:
Madeleine, please tell us about your background as a psychologist.
I studied occupational therapy in Denmark and worked within mental health. I used cognitive behaviour therapy, or CBT, which is a therapy form for understanding the connection between thoughts, feelings and behaviours and how to change ones that are unhelpful to the client. It’s useful in the dating scene. For example, peoples’ deeper attitudes and thoughts sometimes block their dating success.
I went on to study psychology at UCL in London, and had a paper published there on social intelligence, a sister topic to emotional intelligence.I then completed an MSc in Occupational Psychology at Birckbeck University in London.
What led to the transition to become a dating coach?
I got divorced after a 10 year relationship around the time of my graduation, which threw me into meeting and connecting with people through networking. Most of them were singles and I quickly found myself coaching people on relationships and got positive feedback. Relationships are a hot topic. People typically ask “Why can’t I meet someone…or get the right guy/girl”, “what should I do” “why don’t I ever get a second date?” I got more and more into talking about peoples’ relationships. I helped them become successful. It was so enjoyable that I discussed the idea of setting up a business with Daniel Williams, a psychotherapist. He was also keen on the idea and that’s how “PassionSmiths” was born.
What are some personal tips you can offer?
Be yourself! Try not to be self-centred while dating and focus on the other person, enjoy yourself and let the conversation flow, and most importantly – have a good time!
What are some of the mistakes people make when beginning to date?
People can be too eager and impatient. This reflects our culture in a way (i.e. you want something, you go and get it). There is also a tendency to make judgements about people that aren’t necessarily true. For example, someone may be nervous on a date, but is normally self-confident, so he/she may be judged negatively as a result of that first impression.
How can someone tell if the person they’re dating is relationship oriented?
Get to know the person slowly and you’ll find out. Ask questions directly in a casual way. Ask people where they see themselves in 5 years and listen to their response. People are genuine in the first 1-2 meetings and then they sometimes tailor their answers around what they think the other person wants to hear. By asking important questions early on you are more likely to get sincere answers. Also, pay attention to how people behave. For example, do they turn up on time? Do they call when they say they will?
Who is your typical client?
Working professionals over 30 and sometimes younger (late 20’s). Our clients are people who are genuinely interested in happy healthy long term relationships, but are for some reason stuck.
How do you help your clients?
We provide an objective safe space for them to forward with their thoughts and concerns. Sometime people want practical help with setting up an online dating profile for example. Others require a therapeutic session or intervention – they want to understand why they meet the wrong people or why they’re afraid of commitment. Our services are driven by the need of each client and are very much tailored to everyone.
How can people find you?
By visiting: www.passionsmiths.com, through social media or word of mouth.
Any memorable words?
“Date Smarter, love better” – that’s our catchphrase!