How should one approach dating?
People often tell us about the dates they’ve had and how they did not really have an opportunity to get to know the person with whom they’ve gone out. Our research shows that people find it difficult to shy away from asking and responding to “background questions” during a date. It’s a social tendency to attempt to draw a picture of new people we meet by inquiring about their career, education, family, etc. Most of us seem to be inclined to this segmentation methodology where we try to find similarities and differences between us and people who enter our lives. However, is that really an effective way to find a compatible partner?
Judging by the fact a lot of people find it very hard to develop a connection with someone, segmentation isn’t really a recommended approach. In a big city like London, rather than meeting people who are similar to us, we are likely to meet people who are vastly different than us in many ways. Therefore, a more creative approach is needed. Have you ever considered how similar you might be to someone you’ve just met? Have you ever considered that you might find those similarities by sharing stories about events that happened to you recently? (Whilst ensuring you share them in an intelligent and polite fashion)
Have you ever considered how attractive you would be in the eyes of your date as a result?
People find great interest in individuals who discuss their personal lives and the actions they take as they encounter various situations.
Why, you ask?
Because it creates a relaxing environment, space for an intelligent discussion, and opens the door to relate to such stories. And who wouldn’t want to feel relaxed on a date? Who wouldn’t want to engage in an intelligent discussion with their date? Who wouldn’t want the opportunity to relate to a story? Most importantly, we want our dates to learn something meaningful about us and to feel more at ease in sharing their own experiences so that we can actually get to know them!!
This may sound surprising, but embarrassing stories are a great place to start! They tend to act as icebreakers and usually do not involve a controversial topic.
Leave a reply